Showing posts with label HUMOUR. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HUMOUR. Show all posts

Monday, 10 April 2017

I am Indian. I am well educated.


Hi all, I am Indian. I am well educated. I am staying in a country where knowledge is measured by marks instead of practical knowledge. 

I am staying in a country where they  ban "Currency Notes" (One of the reason to solve Corruption for better tomorrow ) but never ban's things that are not good for health.  

I am staying in a country where we try to go to other countries and settle there (To get rid of more taxes). 

I am staying in a country where I pay almost half of my bill extra to government (Taxes) when I want to eat food in restaurants.    

I am staying in a country where M.R.P means  Minimum Retail Price (When it comes to Corporate world).  

I am staying in a country where we spend more money in secondary level education then in UG. 

I am staying with people who donates lakhs of rupees to temples instead of donating to poor people. 

I am staying with people who gives lot of food to statue's instead of starving people. 

I am staying with people who asks money to develop my country instead of my knowledge. 

I am staying with people who gets tensed instead of feeling safe, while seeing the people who are working to protect them. 

I am staying with people who are sharing their pains, happiness and etc on the internet instead of their mom/dad/closer once. 

I am staying with people who don't speak/play/enjoy their company when there are near to them and tries to interact with people who are far from them. 

I am staying with children who plays game's on electronic gadgets instead of playing on grounds. 

I am staying with people who secures their  phones and share their pics on internet. 

I am staying with people who wants Medals for their country, but they never encourage their children .  

I am staying with people who sings "National Anthem" every time when they watch movies in theatre but they don't know the meaning of it. 

Still I love My Country because it was my mother land.  

Change can't be get in a single day. A single step from many of us today will become a better tomorrow to our country. 

JAI HIND.....  

Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Trees are like our parents....

Hi friends, today I want to share a small story with you guys. That touched me a lot when have read it.

Story:

Once upon a time there was a huge apple tree. A little boy used to play near the tree, he would search for a juicy apples, play along side the tree and rest under the tree shade.

The tree was overjoyed after meeting the little bundle of joy.

One day, the tree was surprised to see the boy approaching with sad face. "Come and play with me", the tree asked the boy.

Then boy replied, "I am no longer a small kid to play around trees". I want toys, I need some money to buy them.

Tree replied, Sorry I had no money to give you. But you can pickup all my apples and sell them.

Then boy grabbed all the apples and went happily,

Many days went, but there is no sign of boy. Tree was waiting for his friend.

One day tree saw his friend, the little boy had grown up to a big man. Come and play with me, the tree said.

I can't play with you now. I had family and we need a house for shelter, Can you help me??, the man replied.

Sorry I had no house, but you can chop off all my branches to build your house, tree replied.

The man cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see his friend leaving with smile again.

The man returned one evening "Come and play with me ", the tree said.

I am getting old, I want to go for sailing to relax for myself. Can you give me a boat??, said the man.

"Use my trunk to build your boat", he went sailing and never showed up for a long time.

The man returned after many years.

Sorry boy I have nothing to give now, tree said with a pain in his voice.

No problem, I had no teeth to bite any apples and I am too old to climb any tree, the man replied.

I just need a place to relax all these year, the man replied.

"Old trees are the best place to sit down. Come, sit on me and relax", the tree replied.

The man sat down, the tree was glad and smiled with tears.

Our parents too are like trees. They give us what they have.

                                                                                                                   Your's,
                                                                                                                   Santoshklpkl




Thursday, 16 June 2016

I am a beautiful girl & wish to marry a guy with 100CR salary. What should I do ?

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.

I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with 100 crore annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary 2 crore is considered only as middle class now days..
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of 100 crore annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is 50 crore annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), 50 crore annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pooja I Chohan.
A philosophical reply from Mukesh Ambani –
Dear Ms. Pooja,
I ( Mukesh Ambani ) have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than 100 crore, which meets your requirement, so I ( Mukesh Ambani ) hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I ( Mukesh Ambani )am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.
Anyone with over 100 crore annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I ( Mukesh Ambani ) would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with 100 crore annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps.
signed,
Mukesh Ambani

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Will you buy medicines .... then you must read this........

Hi friends, today I am here to say “How to know you are buying original or duplicate medicines?”

If you want to know that the drug which you brought from the store is original or not.....

JUST BY EASY 3 STEPS .....

1) Behind the each medicine there is one nine digit number which is unique number......

2) Just message that number to 9901099010...... After 10sec you will get one response message.....

3) If the medicine is original then you will get the reply with the proper batch number and the name of the pharmacy company.....

By which you can cross check with your strips or any medicine which you brought.........

And if the number is not matching then you just have a resend the same message .....

So the complaint will be registered and that company may be banded and you are the person who helped so many life’s................
                                                                     -Your’s santoshklpkl


Thursday, 4 June 2015

Some times Smartness is better than Intelligence....

Once upon a time........A boy went to a shop with his mother.

The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets and said 'Dear Child..u can take the sweets...

But the child didn't take.The shop keeper was surprised.. such a child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle. 

Again he said take the sweets...Now the mother also heard that and said.. take the sweets dear..Yet he didn't take...The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets... he himself took the sweets and gave to the child. 

The child was happy to get two hands full of sweets.While returning home the Mother asked the child...Why didn't you take the sweets, when the shop keeper told you to take?...

Can you guess the response:Child replies... 

Mom! my hands are very small and if i take the sweets i can only take few.. but now you see when uncle gave with his big hands.... how many more sweets i got!When we take we may get little but when God gives... HE gives us more beyond our expectations. ..more than what we can hold..!!
Stay Blessed.....

Monday, 5 January 2015

Feelings can be expressed in many ways ....

Hi friends, today I want to say you about “Feelings”.

Feelings can be expressed in many ways

1) By saying (words, sentences).

2) By caring.

3) By eyes.

4) By drawing (Pictures).

Today I want to show you some pictures that speaks a lot .....

Actually I want to say by words but after seeing this pictures I decided there is no need for description....



Picture 1



                                                                          Picture 2


Picture 3


                                                                     Picture 4


Picture 5


Picture 6


Picture 7


Picture 8

Friends I want you opinion on this pics..... Plz comment


                                                                     - Your's Santoshklpkl

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

A Letter To Pakistan From An Indian Parent

Dear Pakistan,

We weep with you.

We weep for the parents in Peshawar and the children who won't play today.

Pakistan, you need to save your children. You need to act. Today.
132 children have been killed in the horrific attack by the Taliban in Peshwar.

132 children, killed in the most barbaric and senseless manner thinkable. 

132 young souls who represent the future of your country.

This is a terrible moment in history. Not just in Pakistan’s history, but in the history of humanity.

Nothing like this should ever be allowed to happen again. Not in Pakistan, not anywhere in the world.

The time has come for the Taliban to be destroyed once and for all – and Pakistan has to play the lead role in this battle, with help from any quarter that offers help.

Including India.

It is 67 years since our nations came into existence. For 67 years we have battled over Kashmir. We have fought full-fledged wars in 1947, 1965, 1971 and a smaller war, in Kargil, in 1999. The Kashmir issue is obviously not something that will disappear in a hurry.

In addition India has suffered the horrific terrorist attack by the Pakistan-based Lashkar-e-Taiba in Mumbai on 26 November 2008. This issue is still outstanding as we wait for the perpetrators, who are in Pakistan, to be brought to justice. In addition, we have fought over the Siachen Glacier and over Sir Creek. These are outstanding issues as well.
Yet India needs to come to your help now – and Pakistan needs to accept that help – so that the scourge that killed 132 of your children yesterday is rendered powerless and impotent.

What happened in Peshawar yesterday was an extraordinary incident – and calls for an extraordinary response.

For you to be able to focus on the Taliban, you need to stop worrying about the eastern sector – the border with India. You have an army of around 600,000 men – and the time has come to deploy all of them against the Taliban. All of them.

We are your sworn enemies for 67 years but we know when to cease hostilities and let the enemy carry their wounded; we will not strike you when you are down.

So we pledge to you that the border, the LOC will be untouched. Take your army, take your air force, take each and every armed and unarmed man you have to your northern border and wipe out the people who did this.
This should never happen again. Not to you, not to us. Not to any parent anywhere in the world.

Finish your job and we will stand by you. We can settle our differences later.

Because it could have been our children too.

                                                                        - An Indian Parent


Sunday, 14 December 2014

Relationship between "Boss and Employee "

Hi friends, normally I use to write posts .... Sometimes I write small stories to express my feelings about that....

Today I want to say you about a relation between a boss and employee.... When employee was perfect in his work and sincere, then boss must value him....

Any work can be successful by group of people, because of only one reason that is “Coordination”, “Value”, “Respect”, if possible “Friendship”.

I saw a post in facebook about a great person who gave value to his employee.... I want to share with you guys .... I thought this is one of the best way.....   

There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him – Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.

His boss replied “OK, You’re permitted to leave the office early today”. 

The Scientist started working.

He continued his work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion.

The time was 8.30 PM.

Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children. He looked for his boss, He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home.

Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children. He reached home.

Children were not there. His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines.

The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him “Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry.

The man replied “If you would like to have coffee, I too will have but what about Children ??”

Wife replied “You don’t know?? , Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition “.

What had really happened was …. The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM.

He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition.

So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition. The boss does not have to do it every time. But once it is done, loyalty is established.

That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous.

By the way, can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was ?

He was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam .


After reading this I had came to know one thing that "Love what you do... If someone respects you give the same respect to them.... "

                                                                           -Santoshklpkl

Friday, 5 December 2014

Can You spend Rs.9,60,000 within 80sec ?? That is For Sake Of Risk Kids ??

Hi friends, today I want to say you about a person “Who has spent 9,60,000 INR ($16000) for sake of children”


The man in these pictures is Andre Johnson.
He plays for the Houston Texans.
And he just spent more than $16,000 dollars on toys for at risk kids.
Those are the receipts he's holding.

Look how long they are.

But what makes the story even better is how he did it.

He took all the kids on a shopping spree at Toys R Us.

Johnson says:
“I couldn’t imagine this as a child.

I always said if I ever made it, if I was blessed to make a lot of money, I always wanted to give back and do things for kids and just help people out.
That’s why I do it.”

Johnson met the kids at 8:30 in the morning on his day off.

Needless to say every one of them was smiling and couldn't wait to see him.

Johnston told them:
“You can go through the store and get whatever you want.
I’ll pay for it. Have a Merry Christmas.”
The kids ranged in age from 8 to 16.
They lined up their shopping carts.
And after a countdown, they were off.

Johnson said he would give them 80 seconds to pick out as much stuff as they wanted.

He decided on that amount of time, because his number on the Texans is 80.

Johnson also told the kid not to worry about the video game systems, which are all locked up.

He said after their carts were filled, they could all pick out whichever game they wanted.

This is the 8th year in a row that Johnson has done this.

He says:
“It’s crazy. Me and my uncle were sitting in the house one day.
And I was like, ‘I want to do something for Christmas.’
And he was just like, ‘Have you ever thought about having kids go through Toys R Us and get what they want?’

And I was just like, ‘Now, I never really thought about that.’
“He was like, ‘Give ‘em 80 seconds to run through the store and let ‘em just get what they want.’
And I was like, ‘That’s not enough time.’
And he was like, ‘They can grab a lot.’

So we did it the first year and when the kids came back, I was like, ‘Wow, 

I didn’t think they could grab that much stuff in that amount of time.’'

I’m not a big Houston Texans fan.

But I’m a huge Andre Johnson fan.

I really like what he stands for.

And I love what he said afterword.

"You just help them in a way that they thought they'd never be helped.
It's an opportunity for their kids to get whatever they want, and they don't have to worry about it.
I'm glad to take that burden off of them."









                                                                          -Your's Santoshklpkl

Friday, 19 September 2014

One person has lot of sorrows....

Hi friends, there is strong reason behind writing this post....

Now a day, many people are taking useless decisions for not succeeding in something like love, no job, pressures in the works and many like this....




Today I want to say you a small story in which the person faces the same problem....

Once upon a time there was a person who felt discouraged....

He took stock of the resolutions he made last year....but, nothing in his life had changed.... L .He was the same person with the same problems...He began to lose hope...So he went to speak to his mentor....

The mentor asked.... “DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR THE GIANT BAMBOO GROW AS TALL AS A BUILDING?

During the first year, the tiny plant is watered and fertilized... And nothing happens...It is watered and fertilized for another year...And another...And another.... And another.... And still nothing happens....

Then on the fifth year it shoots up to the sky.... in six weeks the bamboo grows 90 feet...

Then the mentor asked the person “So how long does it take for it to grow so high??” (You also think a while and continue reading this post)






“Six weeks”. The man replied....

Then mentor replied “That’s your mistake”

It takes five years.... “IF THE FARMER STOPPED WATERING THE PLANT AT ANY POINT DURING THOSE FIVE YEARS...., IT WOULD HAVE DIED.”

What was happening during all those years.... (Think a while)

Underneath the ground, an enormous network of roots was developing to support the bamboo’s sudden growth.... “GROWTH TAKES PATIENCE AND PERSEVERANCE.”

Every drop of water makes a difference....in the similar way every step you take makes an impact...You may not see the change right away....But growth is happening....

Now, ask yourself.... “What are you willing to do to make your dreams come true??”

“Are you willing to do whatever it takes?”

“Are you willing to take action?”

“Are you willing to push past your fears and doubts?”

“How much faith and belief are you willing to have?”

              DECIDE
    
                    ACT
      
                         NOW!!!


                                                                    -Your's Santoshklpkl
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